Afraid of Prayer?

Over the years Pastor Jim Cymbala has openly shared numerous heartbreaking stories of pastors who determined to become men of prayer and lead praying churches, only to encounter congregational members who became so resistant and divisive that their church actually split. It seems unbelievable but it is true.

I have known pastors at a personal level who have encountered similar resistance and criticism, not because their approach was misguided, but simply because some core people were disinterested and eventually destructive. (NOTE: Some Christians avoid corporate prayer because they say it is “weird.” Granted, some approaches are weird and some participants can be a little strange. But I say, don’t throw the biblical baby out with the odd bath water. Jump in and be normal. Or start your own “normal” prayer time. Just make sure you are not making excuses.)

Regardless, you would think that all Christians would have a desire to grow in communion with God and participate in a dynamic, praying church. Not so. But why?

Factoring Our Fear

As I have considered these tragic stories I am convinced it comes down to one primary cause: the fear factor.

Writer Erin Wildermuth notes,

“Fear is universal. The gymnast fears stumbling instead of sticking the perfect landing. The singer fears a moment of wavering pitch. The serious speaker fears laughter; the joker silence. We all fear failure. How we respond to fear, however, varies considerably and determines whether this emotion will help us achieve our goals or leave us less able meet the challenges we face. Fear doesn’t have to be disabling.”[i]

Of course, God has not given us the spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7). It has been noted that “fear not” is the most frequent command in the Bible, appearing some 365 times. God knows our tendency to fear. The Bible is honest about the destructive results of fear. God is not the author of fear so we must expose it and renounce it, especially when a Christian fears extraordinary, believing prayer. Fear is the antithesis to faith.

So, what are these struggling Christians (and in some cases less-than-spiritual opponents) so afraid of? Here are my theories:

Fear of Intimacy with God

I was told of a survey conducted a number of years ago at a well-known church. The leaders wanted to understand more about the congregants’ perspective on their Christian faith. One question asked, “What is your number one fear as a Christian?” A top response was, “intimacy with God.”

This may seem strange at first. But in reality, intimacy with God confronts issues in our lives that casual Christianity tends to conceal and coddle. Intimacy can mean, “into me see.” In intimacy we are vulnerable as we are lovingly drawn out of status quo faith to confront our sins, our idols, our self-reliance, and our superficial pursuits. For those who merely signed up for a free ticket to heaven, rather than taking up their cross, this can be very threatening.

Intimacy with God confronts issues in our lives that casual Christianity tends to conceal and coddle.

Fear of Transparency with Others

What a person is on their knees – a person is. Prayer is also very intimate interpersonally. This is a blessing for those who want deep, trusting relationships. Many in the church just prefer a quick handshake while hiding behind a Styrofoam coffee cup. Others are happy with superficial chats while being busy for Jesus.

I’ve known many who refrain from corporate prayer with the claim that they are shy about praying out loud with others. In many cases I suspect they just prefer to remain guarded and unknown, keeping others at bay by their non-participation. Yet, God has called us to pray together in deep bonds of mutual sharing – moving beyond a self-consciousness to a God-consciousness that allows all of us to open our hearts to one another.

Recently l’ve been riveted by an amazing little book by Norman Grubb[ii] describing an ongoing movement of revival in Africa many years ago as he labored alongside the well-known missionary, C.T. Studd. The summary of this revival is captured in the simple phrase, “Roof off. Walls down.” God calls us to a passionate authenticity before Him and a continuous transparency with one another. To miss this because of fear is one of the great tragedies of any Christian life.

God calls us to a passionate authenticity before Him and a continuous transparency with one another. To miss this because of fear is one of the great tragedies of any Christian life.

Fear of Losing Control in the Church

When we pray, God loosens our grip on our own lives, our plans, and our ministries. As He takes over, things change because people change. No surprise that some in the church would rather stay in control of perpetuated spiritual lethargy rather than let God take charge via a transformational spiritual movement.

Some in the church would rather stay in control of perpetuated spiritual lethargy rather than let God take charge via a transformational spiritual movement.

When the Spirit moves in and through a praying church, people have to let go of their comfortable “forms” in order to accommodate fresh spiritual realities. We are not called to protect our traditional wineskins. Rather, we must adjust our preferred manmade wineskins to accommodate the new wine of renewal. Frankly, some people prefer things just the way they have always been even if it means they miss out on the fresh spiritual work the Lord wants to accomplish for His glory.

It is common knowledge among pastors that some churches stay small because a few “church bosses” refuse to let the ministry grow beyond their span of carnal control. The spirit of Diotrophes is still alive and well (3 John 1:9). Prayer movements always ruffle the feathers of ecclesiastical controllers. They are sometimes overt in their opposition through open criticism or visible resistance. At other times they simply play a game of passive-aggressive non-participation.

Some churches stay small because a few “church bosses” refuse to let the ministry grow beyond their span of carnal control.

Fear of Abandoning the Comfort Zone

It will be on my tombstone: “The comfort zone is the danger zone.” Biblical, spiritually-passionate prayer is simply uncomfortable for self-satisfied Christians. The fresh movement of the Spirit in a praying church is, by God’s design, fresh, free-flowing, and yet unimaginably fruitful. For folks uncomfortable with this, I often quote a verse from 2 Daniel 3:5 (smile) where it says, “Get over yourself.” It is not about us. It is about Him. It is about His gospel. It is about the supernatural accomplishment of His mission through us as we journey in this very short earthly appearance. None of this can happen apart from the Holy Spirit. None of this will happen unless we pray – collectively, passionately, enduringly. This is the New Testament pattern – like it or not.

Biblical, spiritually-passionate prayer is simply uncomfortable for self-satisfied Christians.

Fear Not His Goodness and Calling

So “fear not”, my friend. God is good in His intentions to build a praying church. And, yes, He has your best interests in mind when He draws you into prayer with others. So ask Him for the grace to dispel all fear and experience His “power, love, and self-control.” The kind that only occurs when we pray.

Copyright © 2018 Daniel Henderson. All rights reserved.

[i] https://michaelhyatt.com/author/erinwildermuth/

[ii] Norman Grubb, Continuous Revival: The Secret of Victorious Living (Fort Washington, Pennsylvania: CLC Publications 1952)