My daughter, who lives in California, has two sons. One is in his third year of college, and her second son began college this fall. In our family text thread, she posted, “This is the first time in twenty-one years that our house has no children. Our nest is empty; it feels strange.” I responded with a simple proverbial story I have shared with couples for years.

Marriage can be like a journey in your car. It begins with two of you, husband and wife, in the front seat. The car is filled with conversation, joy, and romance. As your journey continues, you stop to pick up a child you see on the roadside. The child is now controlling the conversation, and the attention goes to the back seat. A little farther down the road, a second child is picked up, and the car is filled with noise, chatter, laughter, and arguments. All the attention is on the back seat. Previous front-seat conversations are absent. Many miles into the journey, things change as the car stops, and one child gets out. Finally, the car stops again, and the second child gets out. Now you are back to two. The fruit of the marriage will be revealed. For many, the car is now quiet, the trip dull; and, unfortunately, sometimes the car stops for a final time, and someone gets out.

The story is simple, but it conveys the truth of a marriage that was not nurtured and was not a top priority in the journey. Children, work, and outside activities took top priority, and the conversations that took place in the beginning of the marriage were neglected. Spiritually, oneness never took place.

Christian marriages are the great target of the devil, and our culture fuels it with arrows of fire. We are reminded that marriage begins with two and ends with two. The back seat will empty out. Live for the front seat first.

Couples who begin their marriage following Christ must not allow the culture to absorb their marriage. I have observed many seemingly important things that eventually lead to a marriage’s separation. A child-centered home, as illustrated in the story above, can impact a marriage. The dream house can become silent and empty. The job that has been the priority can turn into the master that destroys the marriage relationship.

Couples who begin their marriage following Christ must not allow the culture to absorb their marriage. The dream house can become silent and empty. The job that has been the priority can turn into the master that destroys the marriage relationship.

The statements of truth given to the first marriage are still true today.

Consequently, God developed a plan for Adam as declared in Genesis 2:24 (ESV) — “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The words “hold fast” are given in various ways in other translations: cling, united, bonded, joined. All of these tell how God desired marriage to be. Clearly, God planned for two people to be joined, not separated for life. Today’s culture deceives us with busy schedules, jobs, and children as higher priorities that fill our proverbial car and eventually leave us empty on the journey. Our spouses move way too far back in our attention, communication, and spiritual oneness.

Years ago, I saw God’s priority as Paul outlined it in Ephesians 5:15-6:20. Paul gives strong directions on how to live in evil days. The priorities are given as:

1. God (5:18)
2. Marriage (5:20-33)
3. Children (6:1-4)
4. Vocation (6:5-9)
5. Ministry (6:10-20)

It might be that your marriage needs to fill the front seat with Paul’s instructions and God’s directions in Proverbs 5:18-19 (ESV) — “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” Even if you have a back seat full of children and busy schedules, the front seat is the priority.

These wise words are to be our priority; the mate we committed to years ago must fill our attention, not just when the back seat is empty. We must cultivate the front-seat relationship all along the journey, so that when the back seat one day empties, we are not strangers.

We must live with no options.

Finally, we must live with no options. Billie and I committed to our marriage. We understood God’s command to be joined as one, with no possibility of separating what He had joined. We have had some tough, dark days in our marriage. Yes, the attention at times was not in the front seat of our marriage car. But we knew God’s Word and vowed that divorce was never an option, no matter how we felt. We recently celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary.

Malachi 2:14–15 (NIV) — “You ask, ‘Why?’ It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.”

What God said to Malachi about marriage as He saw Israel’s unfaithfulness to Him are words we’ve remembered. “The wife of my youth” is a passage that, as the years have passed, I have learned to cling to. Together, we hold to the marriage covenant that God designed for us.

Today, fill your front seat by remembering your first love each day. In your memory, go back to your early days. Recall the joys when there were just two in the car. Now you might have several little ones in the back seat. But know that someday, it comes back to just two. Grandchildren and your grown kids and their spouses might be around, but two is the bottom line. Two who are joined as one must be nurtured daily. Guard your heart from the lies of the culture. Pray together daily, as it builds intimacy and places God in the center of your marriage. Guard your heart. Keep each other as the highest priority in human life. Cultivate delight. Read through Song of Solomon regularly and delight in each other. Enjoy the journey, so that the front seat will always have conversation, joy, and romance.

Two who are joined as one must be nurtured daily. Guard your heart from the lies of the culture. Pray together daily, as it builds intimacy and places God in the center of your marriage.

Copyright © 2025 Dennis Henderson. All rights reserved.