Clarifying Marriage

The highest purpose of marriage is to display to the world the sacrificial love of Christ for His bride, the church.

The highest purpose of marriage is to display to the world the sacrificial love of Christ for His bride, the church.

Marriage is God’s gift to us, designed to bring us joy and Him glory!

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:26-27).

Over the last forty-two years, I have discipled over six hundred men in small group settings with high accountability. In the study, I have a module on purpose. I begin the module by asking them to write their life purpose statement. Ninety-nine percent of them look at me with a blank stare. We then spend the next five weeks working on a life statement. I do this because if men do not have a clear life purpose embedded in their minds, then their jobs, friends, and culture will design their life purpose. They then will be following the wrong path in their lives.

The same is true in marriage. A couple needs to have a marriage purpose statement written down. When Billie and I married, we were eighteen years old. We were given no premarital preparation, and James Dobson had not written a book yet. We only knew I was going into ministry, and we wanted to serve God. At least, we knew we wanted God to be glorified in our lives. Beyond that, we were ignorant. Over the years, we finally developed a clear purpose for our marriage: our written marriage creed that gives us a statement of why we are married. It states the purpose of our marriage, including children, money, possessions, prayer, and several other defining practices. It is the plumbline for us rather than being moved by every wind that blows in our environment.

Why is this important? Because the culture wants to shape your marriage, and Satan wants to destroy it. If we do not have a strong, clear, biblical understanding of the purpose of marriage, then we can drift into a worldly-shaped marriage with worldly values and practices, with the tag of Christian marriage. So, let’s nail down some truths for you to pray over and discuss in the days ahead.

If we do not have a strong, clear, biblical understanding of the purpose of marriage, then we can drift into a worldly-shaped marriage with worldly values and practices, with the tag of Christian marriage.

  • Marriage is for the purpose of reflecting God’s image.

In Genesis 1:26, 27 above, the emphasis is on “image” and “likeness.” God creates “them” as a unit to reflect Him. It takes both a man and woman, in oneness, to truly reflect His image. When we criticize our spouse or foster division and competition, we reflect Satan’s disunity and dishonoring God. On the other hand, when we recognize our purpose is to reflect the image of God, we are convicted by the Holy Spirit when we don’t meet that standard and are protected from hardening our hearts toward one another. This is why same-sex marriage is not a biblical reflection of God’s image.

  • Marriage is for the purpose of glorifying God.

Marriage is not a separate part of our lives. It is ingrained in everything we do. Thus, in our conversations, financial management, activities, lifestyle, sexuality, usage of time, and all we do, we are to glorify, honor, and reflect God. Marriage is the headwater for this. People should see Christ in all we do as a couple, as a family. It should be clear why we exist as a couple. A house, job, possessions, a trophy wife, and college-bound kids are not the purpose of marriage. These things might come in your marriage, but they are not the goal. The overarching and end goal is that two people following Jesus will bring Him glory through their being one in Christ and marriage.

I Peter 2:12 – “Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.”

Colossians 3:17 – “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

  • Marriage is a powerful picture of the Gospel

I have said for years that marriage is a powerful means of evangelism. As a couple lives out Jesus in their marriage, it reflects the Gospel. When people observe two people committed to each other living in a loving, consistent, caring, self-sacrificing manner with each other, the picture of the Gospel is portrayed. Paul instructs on marriage in Ephesians 5:23-33. He explicitly teaches how the husband represents Christ through his love and care for the bride, and presents her to God someday in the same way Christ presents His church to Him, blameless. So, a great privilege, responsibility, and purpose of marriage is that it shows the Gospel through our lives. In a society where marriages and relationships are disposable items, people should be asking you, “What is the reason and key to your enduring commitment to each other?” During our fifty-seven years of marriage, Billie and I have had many opportunities to share that Christ is the glue that keeps us together, which then opens doors to share the Gospel.

A great privilege, responsibility, and purpose of marriage is that it shows the Gospel through our lives.

Let us pray that our marriages will fulfill God’s purpose, which will satisfy us with joy, pleasure, and meaning.

Copyright © 2022 Dennis Henderson. All rights reserved

Bio: Dennis Henderson left the senior pastorate after 54 years of pastoring to devote half of his time to pastors nationwide as the National Director of The 6:4 Fellowship. He continues to share his time with Northlake Church in Lago Vista, Texas, as the Pastor of Leadership Development and Adult Ministries. He and Billie have been married since 1965 and have four adult children and nine grandchildren. Billie and Dennis have a passion to help ministry couples and support the ministry of prayer in the local church through The 6:4 Fellowship.