Let’s be honest. Even with all the decorations, gift giving, Hallmark movies, holiday treats, football games, special programs, and social gatherings—Christmas is a big letdown for many people. I am not trying to “Scrooge” you; I am just being honest about the experience of lots of folks in this season. It seems odd that the year’s most anticipated and celebrated time can affect people in difficult ways. What do you do when your Christmas isn’t so merry.

One study found that 64% of people who struggle with feelings of depression find their condition worse during the holidays.[i] Even some believers who are usually on an even keel feel heaviness at the holidays. Certainly, extraordinary circumstances can impact our emotional state—like the recent loss of a loved one, fighting a terminal illness, unexpected financial ruin, or other unusual challenges. Yet, even folks in a fairly normal season of life can find the holidays hard. Why is this? Let’s examine this reality and seek to rediscover the joy and hope that we all long for during these days.

One trigger of melancholy during this season is our misguided expectations. Christmas is the most anticipated holiday of the year, and if our hopes are focused on things that ultimately cannot satisfy our souls, the experience of the season will let us down.

One trigger of melancholy during this season is our misguided expectations. Christmas is the most anticipated holiday of the year, and if our hopes are focused on things that ultimately cannot satisfy our souls, the experience of the season will let us down.

EXAMINING OUR EXPECTATIONS

Expectations Based on Selective Memory – Each December, as we dial up the Christmas music, unpack the decorations, and plan for the overwhelming number of events, our mind naturally fixates on the idyllic days gone by. But memories are selective. We tend to reminisce over and even exaggerate the sublime moments of the past, hoping to recapture those feelings in the present.

Memories are selective. We tend to reminisce over and even exaggerate the sublime moments of the past, hoping to recapture those feelings in the present.

Expectations Focused on Superficial Measurements – The commercialization of the Christmas season fuels expectations focused on shopping, gift giving, food, travel, and parties. Of course, the biblical meaning of Christmas has nothing to do with these temporary enjoyments.

Expectations Disappointed by Social Comparison – Discouraging comparison is rampant at the holidays. Our “home for Christmas” experience is nothing like the idyllic scenes in the movies. Our family gatherings pale in comparison to the stories told by our friends or the glorious Facebook posts of some stranger. Comparison fuels discontent and discouragement, especially at Christmas.

Expectations Overwhelmed by Stressful Schedules – One study found that 38% of people felt their stress levels increased during the holiday season.[ii] No surprise there. Hectic activities, intense shopping, meal prep, and the anxious dynamics of dysfunctional family gatherings can easily eclipse our hopes for the holidays.

A NEEDED EXPERIENCE AND EXAMPLE

Let’s consider the relevant wisdom of Psalm 73. In summary, the Psalmist had become embittered as he compared his situation with the apparent prosperity of the wicked. His expectations were confused. He was worn out trying to understand it all—until he had a meaningful, mind-altering encounter with the Almighty in the “sanctuary of God.” Suddenly, the writer regained clear understanding and true hope. The Psalm concludes with this critical declaration—one that we all need to affirm this Christmas season.

“Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:25–26)

Don’t miss the powerful truth here. When we are down and disillusioned, our sights need to be set on the surpassing realities of eternity, not the fleeting revelries of Earth. In moments of physical, emotional, and mental weakness, we must draw from His divine strength and rediscover the truth that Christ is our portion and satisfaction—both now and forever.

When we are down and disillusioned, our sights need to be set on the surpassing realities of eternity, not the fleeting revelries of Earth. In moments of physical, emotional, and mental weakness, we must draw from His divine strength and rediscover the truth that Christ is our portion and satisfaction—both now and forever.

RESETTING OUR HOPE

This Christmas season let’s embrace three truly meaningful expectations that will help our souls and honor the Christ of Christmas.

SET YOUR EXPECTATION ON CHRIST, NOT JUST “CHRISTMAS”

Indeed, there is nothing wrong with enjoying festivities with friends and family during the Christmas season—unless these things eclipse our satisfaction in Christ alone. In speaking of the incarnation of the Divine Word, the beloved Apostle John wrote:

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth…For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.” (John 1:14, 16)

All the accoutrements and activities of Christmas can never do for us what Jesus alone came to provide. So, we must set our hearts to look beyond the glitter of the holidays to find complete satisfaction in the glory of the Holy One. When we are determined to behold Him, we will receive an entire supply of grace to lift our souls and truth to renew and refocus our minds—even when Christmas disappoints. The festivities of the season can never match the fullness of Christ promised to those who worship in spirit and truth. The same grace we received at the cross is the same transformational grace we can experience at Christmas. Grace upon grace upon grace…

All the accoutrements and activities of Christmas can never do for us what Jesus alone came to provide. So, we must set our hearts to look beyond the glitter of the holidays to find complete satisfaction in the glory of the Holy One.

 

The festivities of the season can never match the fullness of Christ promised to those who worship in spirit and truth. The same grace we received at the cross is the same transformational grace we can experience at Christmas.

SET YOUR EXPECTATION ON “PRESENCE,” NOT JUST PRESENTS

Familiar as it may seem, “Emmanuel” is the centerpiece of all our Christmas expectations. God is with us, indwelling us, and ever-present in Jesus. He will never leave us nor forsake us. David, amid incredible distress, wrote twice in Psalm 62:

“For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.” (Psalm 62:1–2, 5-6) He then encourages us, “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah.”  (Psalm 62:8)

Christmas can be that “happiest time of the year” when we stop and seek the One who can make it the holiest time of the year—quietly, intently experiencing Emmanuel through His indwelling, ever-sufficient presence.

SET YOUR EXPECTATION ON GIVING, NOT JUST RECEIVING 

“It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). Literally, we are happier when we give to others. Jesus calls us to follow His example, especially at Christmas. He “came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28). We will be wise and our hope of happiness satisfied when we think about serving others in need. We are smart to look for and actively serve less-fortunate, lonely, disadvantaged “others” if we want to break the heaviness of misplaced expectations.

“Merry and bright” can be more than a cliché. With adequately aligned anticipation, our hearts can find meaningful health and hope as we navigate the craziness of Christmas and enjoy Christ with fresh and fulfilling expectations.

Copyright © 2024 Daniel Henderson. All rights reserved.

[i] https://www.healthpartners.com/blog/why-we-get-depressed-during-holidays/

[ii] Ibid.